Too simple?

When it comes to describing what makes people successful, keeping it simple might seem like a good idea. One picture says more than a thousand words after all. And too much context might be too complicated, right? Right. But not so fast. Too simple is a thing. And context has it’s merits.

Today I saw this picture that someone had shared on LinkedIn. It was liked by someone I know and that is how it ended up in my news feed. And when I looked at it, I disagreed and moved on. But it kept bothering me even while I was doing my regular weekend baking. Check-out my social distancing diary, for more insights into my weekends. And weekdays for that matter. You can find it here https://mykindofsuccess.net/category/social-distancing-diary/.

So I scrolled through LinkedIn right before I started baking and now I could not get this picture out of my mind anymore. See for yourself, maybe knowing me a little bit, you will understand, why.

Looking at this, I had (have actually) so many questions. First and foremost, what is “successful” for the author or the person, that shared this picture with a plain and simple “thumb’s up” emoticon?

The chart attempts to describe, what successful people do right and what in return unsuccessful people do wrong. To better illustrate this, so that you can’t mistake the two, they highlighted the unsuccessful part on a red background. So obviously, if you are doing the things on the right, you are not a successful person.

However, what are you then? Happy? Maybe. Most importantly, what have the people on the left accomplished to be called successful? I sure hope just purely “not watching TV but reading” is not the only success they are having?

Why do I care? First of all, it bothered me and kept doing so and that provoked a lot of thoughts. Which is actually a good thing. But also, this is a great example, that Social Media is nothing but a marketplace for opinions. Yes, this totally includes this blog. It’s me talking, so it’s mainly my opinion here. I am trying to provide facts and kick-off a thought process, but ultimately I am also offering my opinion.

And that is the important part here – this chart is nothing but someone’s opinion. It’s not a or even the truth. Even though it tries hard, to pretend it is the way it is written and displayed.

This chart has many flaws. The main flaw is, that it is written in an “exclusive” way. The second biggest flaw is, that it is lacking context. A lot! Let’s dive into it a little bit just for fun.

Successful people read every day and unsuccessful people watch TV every day. What if I am reading when my time permits and am watching TV as well? Does that make me a little bit successful or a little bit unsuccessful or both? These all or nothing statements, are obviously never correct. Or are they? Well, it really depends on the statement.

For instance, if you are saying “if you jump of this bridge, you will not survive” then that is a lot more likely to be an accurate all or nothing statement, than the very superficial “successful people read every day”. So whenever you want to make a statement, make sure it’s not too superficial and if it is, make sure you also admit, it’s your opinion.

Having grown up in Germany, my English vocabulary is actually pretty good and does include slang terms as well. I think of this as a “success” (my accent still gives me away ALL THE TIME). I accomplished this with a combination of a great memory and a lot of TV watching. Back in Germany, we would watch US TV series with our TV switched to English with subtitles. We knew we wanted to live in the US, but also be able to have conversations as we could in German. Or at least as close as possible.

Now imagine I would read romantic novels each day. If I wanted to be an author of romantic novels, that might be helpful for my success. If not, maybe not so much? Unless I am missing the teachable moment in romantic novels. If you found it, let me know!

I could go on and on. Successful people compliment, unsuccessful people criticize. Oh. So being complimentary AND critical is not the better combination when giving feedback? Who knew. I thought people grow best, when both types of feedback are applied with the same love for detail in either of them.

Unfortunately, there is “good” intentions in there as well. For example I agree that blaming is not a good idea and ownership is a much better approach. But all these superficial statements are keeping our mind to occupied to recognize these.

Thankfully, there are a lot of lessons for us (at the very least for me) in this one simple chart. As I shared before, Social Media is nothing but a marketplace for opinions. You do not have to agree or even change your life, just because someone offers an opinion about the way you are or are not doing things.

You personally want to watch less TV and read more? Go for it. Because YOU want it. Don’t expect that alone to make you more successful. It might or might not. Read everything you are reading online with care and, as I shared several times before, get facts if any are available. Opinions should be flagged as such. They usually aren’t, so be careful.

You are coming across such a “general” leadership or success statement? Whether you agree or disagree, take some time to think about it and form your own opinion. Every time you do, you are actually growing. And personal growth, in my humble opinion, is part of being successful.

While I almost completely disagree with this chart, it made me use my brain cells to figure out WHY I disagreed. The outcome is, I am having my own criteria for “success” more present. You do not have to agree with something, for it to be helpful for your own development. The opposite might have the same effect.

Superficial statements should remind us, that the world is not black and white but mostly grey(ish). That would be very helpful, when we are at risk of judging others, because they are not doing something the way we would. Or are not thinking the same way we do.

“I am successful because I am reading every day. You are not reading every day? You should, it’s important so you can be successful.”

Replace this thought with everything and anything that you feel makes you successful and because of that, others should be doing it as well. This is not really advice, but it’s really arrogant. Imagine you are saying this to someone with dyslexia, how would they feel about it?

Instead try talking about “educating myself through books, documentaries, podcasts, audio books. conferences, congresses, browsing online articles etc. has helped close knowledge gaps I had and made me more successful”. Now, that’s an idea, people might be able to get behind, would you agree?

As human beings, we tend to only be able to be satisfied with our way of doing things, when we can diminish every other way of doing it, that’s different from ours. Because if their way is successful too, mine is not special anymore. They do not say “comparison is the thief of joy” for no reason.

These kind of superficial “black and white” comparisons are here, to teach us the lesson, that in fact there is not just one way. There is many. Millions even. As many, as there are definitions of what “successful” actually is.

So if you are looking for guidance and advise to be more “successful”, start by understanding, what success actually means to you. And then look for ideas that align and that resonate with you. Not based on the amount of likes they got, but because they kick-off a thought process in you, that “feels right”.

If the idea of reading every day and not watching TV daily resonates with you, there is nothing wrong with that. It does not with me and there is nothing wrong with that either. In fact, there is no wrong or right in development or growth measures. There is only “wrong for me” or “right for me”.

When you are planning on sharing something on Social Media, think about your intention before you share. Do you want to be “right”? Just understand, people will likely disagree with any black or white statements you are making. If you want to make a point, you might want to highlight you are sharing your thoughts or experience and provide context. And then ask for other’s experience and opinions as well. That way black or white turns into colorful and you might learn something and further develop your original idea. Or get confirmation. Either way, you win.

I really enjoyed having been bothered by this chart and “taking it apart” to look behind the superficial statements. Now I would love even more, to hear (or rather read) your thoughts. Please share in the comments!

Lastly for those of you who were wondering, if I commented on that LinkedIn post. I did not. A discussion on Social Media often time leads to purely feeding trolls. A comment would not have allowed for a distinguished and detailed look into the message of the chart, that’s why I chose to write a blog post about a LinkedIn post instead. You can find the original LinkedIn post here: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6671485519374909440/