WHO OR HOW?

Do you think, mistakes are inevitable when people are actually working and making decisions? Yes? That’s a great first step. But have you really accepted that fact and embraced mistakes as a means to grow and achieve even better results? Well, you really should.

Per LinkedIn posts, many leaders are saying they are embracing mistakes as an opportunity to grow. And many of those posting these statements are even working in Corporate America. Sounds great. Or does it?

Whenever I am stumbling across such a post, a huge “really?” pops into my mind. Followed by the question, whether this is a talk, that they are really walking, too. I highly doubt it. And that is purely based on what I have and continue to see happen over and over again. What’s that, you should ask?

The moment a mistake comes to light or something, that has been going wrong, is reported, the “who” immediately comes into play. And usually not as a brief thought for a split second. As the main focus.

Usually there is a sequence of three “who’s”. The first who is the “WHO did this” or also “WHO’s fault is this”. The second is the “WHO can be blamed for this” and then last but not least we have the “WHO, for sure, should not be blamed for this, at all”.

If the first “who” can be clearly identified or the person maybe even admitted to have been at fault, great. Then number two is only necessary, if the leader of said person does not want this to reflect poorly on themselves and hence either has it blamed on someone else not related to them, or to the poor guy that admitted to having made a mistake in a way, that can’t be traced back to them.

So now the “investigation” begins. Leaders are interviewing colleagues in order to identify the person, that actually made the mistake. In parallel the defense team is getting ready as well. Leaders are searching their email inboxes and “sent folders” and other documents. They are looking for evidence clearly proving, why they are not to blame. Or, even better, evidence that will help pin the blame on someone else.

Usually leaders are asking their team members to do the same, you know, just in case. And even though I am not doing this at all, I can imagine this takes up a lot of time and energy. Just to be ready for the day in court. The court of Corporate (workplace) opinion, where the company jury comes together to judge.

And yes, I am talking about grown ups and not children, that threw a ball in the neighbors window. Even though the problem might have started then and there and with the reaction of said children’s parents. But I digress.

So when this is all over, there is usually no winner, even though one side might feel like they won. Because they have been able to not be blamed but blame someone else. However, the company as a whole suffered a loss. An employee was “killed” in the process. Not the employee literally (hopefully). But their courage to work, make decisions and take a calculated risk. Their motivation, dedication and loyalty usually as well.

And if someone reported an issue and ended up getting blamed, as I unfortunately am watching happen to one of my friends right now? Well if the person is like my friend, they will continue to report things that are wrong. Just because that’s who they are. They will just purely not enjoy doing what they are doing at all anymore.

And in all this time, leaders have not even started to discuss the “how”. When they should have asked question like “how are we going to fix this?” or “how are we coming together as a team and find a solution?”

Ultimately, knowing the “who” really only serves the sole purpose of knowing “who”. It resolves nothing. Ever. And, if done as described, it does not even count as “providing” feedback. Because it does not come from a place of caring. Let me correct this. It does come from a place of caring, just not for the person who made the mistake or the person that everyone blames.

So does the “who” not matter at all? Sure it does. If you are investigating a crime. Then it definitely makes sense to focus on the “who”. Because really there is no other solution to a crime than finding the perpetrator and bringing them to justice.

And of course if you have praise to give. You should definitely make sure you have the right person to give it to. A lot of people will gladly own something that went great without having contributed a single thing. A lot less people are willing to own solutions of mistakes and problems. And I really can’t blame them. Pun intended.

So why are leaders still treating mistakes in the work space like crime to be investigated? I strongly believe it has to do with the, often times collective, mindset. Many of us have been conditioned from our childhoods on to think in problems. And really no one wants to own a problem. Neither do I. Really.

Solving one on the other hand? Yes, please! If someone makes a mistake and are willing to correct and learn from it, great. Who am I to focus on the blame, the problem, the bad and the ugly? Why would I not take that willingness and provide my support?

What would happen, if the leaders that go to great lengths to solve one or all of the three “WHO’s?”, would purely focus on solution instead? And in doing so, steer the conversation away from problem to solution? All of the sudden no one has time to blame anyone because everyone is working towards the solution, together. And most importantly, no one even cares for the “who” as the “how” has taken over.

This can work. It does for me. Whenever I am welcoming a new team member, I make it very clear to them: “problems and mistakes are owned by me, praise is theirs”. The only condition is, that they come to me, when something went wrong or even when they identify an issue, that they have not even been involved in.

My team knows they can do that, because I could not care less for the “who”. They know I will provide my feedback, of course. To them. And they also know, they can’t just come with a problem, they are highly encouraged to think about a solution idea at the very least. Just because it is such a great training of our “solution muscles” and helps getting rid of the “blame reflex”.

But ultimately, we are going to get to work and find a solution. And we might even have some fun doing so. Especially the person, that made the mistake. As they get a second chance at the challenges they could not solve in their first attempt. Everyone deserves that. And just like that, instead of creating a “criminal” you are building followership, courage, loyalty and eventually a leader.

If the organization as a whole is not there yet, this approach admittedly takes some courage. But the outcome is worth every risk taken. For me anyways. I have seen so many great solutions come out of these situations. It’s the opportunity to start over and try something new after all.

But there is still many bosses, that will never understand the benefits. Because they do not care for the people around them. They do not deserve to be called leaders. A leader owns solutions, no matter who made the mistakes!

Somewhere out there we just now get to watch (from the far) a “Senior Leader” (company does not really matter) go above and beyond. No, not to protect all their colleagues and find a joint solution. To do all in their power to blame a mistake, that happened under their leadership after all, on a colleague in their broader organization. It is very sad to watch and I am very sorry for her insecurity.

But I am really proud of the person that came forward with a problem they detected knowing, it would likely play out the way it does right now. Because for them it is still the right (just) thing to do. And despite everything that is happening to them, they are still focusing on the solution and on preventing this from happening again. You go!

So dear people leader, if you are not working with criminals, stop treating your colleagues like one, whenever they make a mistake. Especially those even having the courage to admit they did.

You do not want to be blamed for their mistake? Solve it. Who’s to blame if there is nothing to be blamed for anymore? And even if it can’t be fixed that easily, try, lead the conversation and steer the focus of everyone, including your own boss, towards the solution. You will be surprised, how little attention the “who” will get, once you successfully did that.

Everyone knows, you can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs, after all.

Go, break some eggs!