Rockstar or Superstar?

I did not spend too much time watching the Grammy’s (I did not watch them at all to be honest). I also did not watch the Golden Globes really so that isn’t it either. Why would I then want to talk about Stars and Rock- and Superstars of all things? Why ask “Rockstar or Superstar” at all?

It’s because we are all likely one or the other, maybe both, and we might not even know! have you ever thought about whether you are a Rockstar or a Superstar? Let me explain.

Those of you that are following me will know, I am a huge fan of the book “Radical candor. Be a kick-ass boss without losing your humanity”. It is a great book of course, but for me it was much more than a book. It was eye opening and a life changer. Big words, I know. Bare with me on this one.

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=radical+candor+by+kim+scott&crid=3MGOPIVJJ7S7N&sprefix=Radical+candor%2Caps%2C181&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_4_14

You can find the book here – check it out. I am not earning any money by sharing this link. It’s just a recommendation that is close to my heart.

It was eye opening as I naturally had defaulted to some of the described leadership behaviors. But I had also made some of the described mistakes and stepped in many of the explained traps. And it was life changing, because it gave me language. The language to describe behaviors and thoughts that were running through my head. Admittedly in a very unstructured way and on a race to get out and be turned into action.

Imagine you are in a country with a language you are not speaking. You have all these thoughts in your head but you can’t really share them with anyone around. You just you do not know the words. That was me. On many of the leadership behaviors I lived and breathed, I could not describe them in my own words very well. Not anymore. Coaching helps as well, by the way.

It was thanks to said book, that one of my work stories would come full circle. And it felt so good. But from the beginning. Years ago I was working in a start-up like company in Munich, Germany. I really enjoyed working there. Having joined the company, because my husband got a job offered at FC Bayern Munich. I obviously needed a job in Munich as well.

It felt like I came home after a work life, that had been rather unsteady. If you read my previous posts, well, you get the point.

I took on the job as the Manager of their outsourced Customer Service partner. And I really enjoyed it very much. There were ups and downs as in every job. But my job was fulfilling. And instead of thriving for a promotion. I was thriving for “near perfection” in my role. I wanted to know it all.

All IT processes our customers were experiencing, how things were working behind the scenes, what the company was making money with and how etc. I was so curious. I now know that being a learner is one of my top 5 strengths (per Gallup strengths finder) and it made even more sense.

Yes, I did want to grow and at the same time I felt comfortable where I was. I did not necessarily want to change that, to become a people leader and move up the ranks. Not right there and then, anyways.

So I was really excited, when the opportunity came up to do exactly what I was doing but on a more global level. I could stay “in my role” but at the same time grow and develop my knowledge, experience and expertise even more. Win win.

But there was a downside to this. I had to “fight” for development. Since I did not show too much of an interest to apply for other roles within the company, my development was not front and center for the bosses. They did invest in my language skills when I had to work in Mexico and with US colleagues. But that was about it.

I still happily moved into this global version of my role and kept delivering and performing. At the same time, my bosses had to replace me in my locally focused part of the role as I could not do both. And they went out to search for “high potentials”. The candidates with the awesome University degree that sold themselves as the total achievers.

And interestingly, it never seemed to be a 100% fit for the role. Yes, they did perform. Of course they did, as they wanted to move up the ladder no later than 6-12 months from having joined the company. But they did not have the same level of curiosity and they did not have the time to dive deep and build up the knowledge. They were eager and their eagerness needed space.

One time my boss “complained” about the knowledge gap I had left and how things were different. And I told him “look, you are searching for someone like me, but you keep hiring people that are too eager to invest the time as they are already focusing on their next and career move and the next one after that. Maybe you should look for someone that is interested in doing the job and not using the job as a step on their ladder up”.

He could not have disagreed more. He actually even lectured me, how I apparently was not a leader because as a leader you always want to hire someone, that is eager to move up in the company and then develop them to get there.

You should never hire people that want to remain where they are for longer than a couple of years. If at all. It almost felt like it would reflect badly on you if your people are not all at least becoming the CEO of the company. Just ask yourself – how many CEO’s does a company usually have? Right!

I could and should have replied immediately “oh, so you would not hire me again then.” Because I was that someone, who was happy where they were. Who wanted to grow within my role. I wanted to be developed within my role. At this point in time what he said just felt wrong, it would be much longer until I had the language to explain why.

And that time came, when I read “Radical Candor…”. Kim Scott delivered the language to what I had felt was the better approach all along. She described how balanced teams needed both – the Superstar that comes in, does their great job with high energy, but is actually focused on their next career move in doing so.

They will bring good external ideas. They will not be the ones to consistently deliver and perform on the repetitive tasks of the day to day business. For that, the balanced organization needs the Rockstars. Like a rock in wild waters, they are stable and steady. They perform at a very high level and they also want to grow, but within their role.

Back then I was a Rockstar. As I said before, it really felt good to have the words to describe this. It honestly made what I had accomplished in that role feel a lot more legitimate. It also felt good that there was somone, that shared my thoughts on teams and how they needed both the consistency and the eagerness.

Being a Rockstar should not be a disadvantage. The opposite should be the case. And as a people leader, we should focus on developing both the Rockstar and the Superstar. Both as per their special needs. We should always be guided by the needs of each colleague. A one size fits all leadership does not exist. And our own preferences do not matter as much either, we need to align to the colleague to be led and developed.

Without anyone knowing the term or the background back then, I was a high performing and (over) delivering Rockstar. In the minds of my bosses, I was reliable, for sure. Leader material? Not so much. And so when my priorities changed and I felt I was ready for something new, for becoming a Superstar, they were not. They just could not see it. Remember the one feedback I had received, that I did not listen to? Check out the post about it here, if you have not yet https://mykindofsuccess.net/kind-of-successful/

In my humble opinion, many have the potential to be both – both a Rockstar and a Superstar. The role we want to be in, highly depends on where ware are in our lives. It is or at least should a choice we make at a certain point in our lives.

When we are i.e. a new parent and want to be able to focus on doing a great job and having time for our kids, we might prefer the Rockstar role. That does not mean we can’t become a Superstar later, when our kids are older and life has changed. Having been in that role, really does not limit us to this role forever.

However in order to be in control we need to understand, what our current role is and why. And we need to demand development based on where we are, not based on where a potentially eager boss / leader wants to see us. Yes, here it is again – accountability and ownership.

If we see ourselves as a Rockstar and we are showing great performance and deliver or even outperform, we need to make sure that it is seen and not overlooked just because we do not want to move up just yet. We need to understand where and how we want to grow within our role and ask for the leadership and development that gets us there.

And if we are ready to be a Superstar, we should make sure, we are having a clear perspective where we want our next career move to get us and verbalize that as well. And ideally the step after that, too.

We should, however, not let anyone tell us we have to be one or the other to be worth leadership attention. Or we could not become a Superstar after having been a Rockstar for a long time. And there is also nothing wrong with being the Rockstar of a team forever if that is, what we want. Every team needs the balance, the steady performance and most importantly the knowledge and experience of a Rockstar for sure.

Some Rockstars start working towards a move up the ladder. Not, because they want to move up the ladder, but because they want to receive the acknowledgement and appreciation, only the Superstars are getting. And that is sad as they likely will fail, be overwhelmed or unhappy in that role they are imitating rather than living and breathing.

As people leader we need to make sure we understand about each colleague if they are a Rockstar or a Superstar and develop them accordingly.

Most importantly, we need to celebrate successes of Rockstars and Superstars at least equally. We must lobby for our Rockstars within the organization as we are lobbying for our Superstars helping them to move upwards. We can do that best, when we understand their different strengths and get those to work for the team.

And just for completeness – there are also people that are resting and hiding behind both the Rockstars and the Superstars in the hopes of either having an easy life without having to work much or that no one will realize they are simply not having the skills to be either. Rockstars are unfortunately often confused for those. But we can easily distinguish them as those guys do not rock at all.

What about you? Are you a Rockstar or a Superstar? Does your boss / leader know what you are? Are you a Rockstar that is getting the right attention or are you ignored for the benefit of the Superstars?

Please join the conversation by leaving your thoughts as a comment below!

Thank you!