We are ALL going to die…

… eventually. 

Apologies for the rather dramatic headline, especially in the current situation. I promise, this is not a cheap attempt of attention seeking. At least not from me. And I am very well aware that there are people that did not and will not survive this virus, which is very sad and nothing to joke about. Period!

What I am sharing in my headline is a fact – unless someone invented or detected a way to eternal life and missed sharing it with me (those that believe in conspiracy theories are probably sure that’s exactly what happened and why not?).

Seriously though, the message in my headline and the underlying sentiment are in the air right now. Or should I better say it are “aired” daily if not hourly right now? I probably should. See the media outlets out there are not non-profit organizations (well the state owned theoretically should be..), they ought to make money. And while they are telling you, that they have the duty to provide information or even education, they are not doing that selflessly at all. They are making money of this crisis as of any other crisis, if we (or some of their employees) like it or not.

So am I saying do not believe them at all?

No, I am not Commander in Chief (or Clown in Chief, depending on how you look at it) and do not generally believe in the “fake news” theory. The more “trustworthy” media is not necessarily lying. They probably are not lying at all. However the way they are presenting facts and are asking their questions to experts is, at the very least, biased. Drama and fear keep people glued to their TVs. They say “sex sells”…well disasters sell even better, as they are increasing the numbers of viewers and viewers sell TV commercials. Which, as you might have noticed, have not been paused at all to dedicate the time to what they claim they are doing – providing information. Makes you think (hopefully).

So I am not saying everyone in the media is bad. Fox News obviously has a little bit of a problem with the truth, reflected in the message one of their ladies thought was a good idea to share. In her not so humble but pretty crazy opinion, Covid-19 is a hoax of the democratic party to damage Trump in the current election…are you shaking your head? Yes, me too. Already having a headache! Especially, since these kind of disasters, if happening in an election year, seem to historically have supported the standing (or in our case probably sitting) President.

So instead we can trust our politicians as they have our best interest in mind, right? Well again, it is election year in the US and elsewhere it might be too. So let’s say the situation will be perceived as REALLY bad and then measures taken by the Government are drastic but are then declared as having prevented a catastrophe, who do you think is going to be elected at the end of the year? You think the challenger? Think again!

What I am saying is, we should validate what we are seeing and hearing. Select a trustworthy source of data like global organizations that are a lot less likely going to have their own (hidden) agenda. I personally am using a mix of my own common sense and, since I am not an expert in pandemics, tend to rely on the WHO – the World Health Organization for validated information.

Unfortunately the first thing that gets lost in times like these is the one thing we need the most: Common Sense. Knowing I am probably biased, I do have a feeling common sense is anyways not as wide spread these days as it used to be. In unsettling times like the one we are experiencing right now, common sense seems to have been replaced entirely by something very dangerous. Actually more dangerous (yes, I am saying it and I mean it) as the virus itself. Panic.

We are humans (does interestingly enough not always equal humanity in our behavior) and hence are prone to be tricked by our brain. In times where there is scarcity in information or too much conflicting information, our brain is challenged with the gap. Now back in the days when humans lived in caves and spent their days hunting and collecting, said gap in information easily turned into a matter of life or death. So our great brain found a solution for closing this gap – assumptions. Our brain is closing the information gap by using our own experience, mood, mental status etc. And based on our assumptions, the brain will decide for flight or fight in a dangerous situation such as being attacked by a sabertooth tiger.

Sabertooth tiger attacks have not been in the news much lately. Humans are also not living in caves anymore and seem to have evolved (with some humans I admittedly have my doubts). However our brain functions the exact same way, when it comes to perceived danger and information gaps. We assume. And unfortunately nothing is a better storyteller, than our own thoughts and fantasy. This is one of the reasons, by the way, that some books should never be made into a movie. Our fantasy is always creating a much better movie in our head, than any Director could create in real life.

Good news is, that also means nothing is usually as bad as the story we are telling ourselves. The caveat here is, we need to understand and accept, it is just that – a story we are telling ourselves and it is not reality. If we can accomplish that, we might still experience fear (or anxiety). And that is not a bad thing at all. If there is a realistic threat, fear keeps our attention hightened and helps us make the fight or flight decision rather quickly IF it becomes necessary. It is an alarm function.

Panic however is a strong alarm reaction and a reaction to a situation, that might not be a direct, immediate or acute threat at all. Panic (attacks) can cause severe body reactions, even disguising as serious ilnesses, such as a heart attack. In less severe cases, panic is still dangerous as the stress hormones our body produces, combined with other physical and mental responses, make us super vulnerable and likely to make the wrong decisions. We are not able to see clearly (often times literally) and can’t determine our best next steps.

We should do our best to avoid panic as unfortunately the body reactions coming with panic as partly described above, can put us even more at risk for i.e. contracting the virus. Stress hormones do have an impact on our immune systeme, increase the scare and prevent us from thinking clearly. Measures of caution such as regularly washing our hands and not touching our face will be difficult to keep in a mind that we just completely lost.

Let me share an example of how panic made the difference in how I dealt with a situation I had experienced before – you be the judge if panic was helpful to me or not.

Right before Christmas last year I was overworked and in dire need of time off. I ignored the signs and did not really take time off and also did not make sure I got sufficient rest. One night I woke up with some stronger pelvic pain. I took a pain killer and went back to bed, not really able to sleep as I was wondering what was driving this pain. And since I was already stressed (stress hormones, remember?), instead of remembering I had gone through similar pain back in Germany and most importantly realizing that it was caused by an ovarian cyst I tended to develop back then, I panicked. In my head I was basically dying right there of an undetected cancer.

Needless to say the pain got worse and worse throughout the day. And in my panic I was torn between knowing I should go and see a Doctor and the fear of being told I was right, I was really seriously ill. Yeah, reading this now it seems so stupid and I do not consider myself irrational or stupid – usually. I managed to push myself deeper and deeper into the panic and the more I did, the worse the physical pain got. I ended that night in the Emergency Room, after I had my husband call 911 totally convinced the end had come. Yep, sounds dramatic and it was. IN MY HEAD.

So what can you learn from my experience? Panic does make things worse. All I had was a ruptured cyst – as I did several times before back in Germany. It could have become dangerous under certain circumstances, but a visit to the Urgent Care when the pain started would have solved it right away. I would have been given the right pain killers, but most importantly I would have been provided with FACTS. And those facts would have prevented my panic.

I would have still been anxious about a potential injury to my ovaries and that fear would have kept my attention to my body focussed. I would however been in possession of my brain function and been able to make informed decisions. I also would have saved a lot of money, but that is a different story.

I definitely learned my lesson here. Ignoring, hiding and pretending nothing is happening, is not a viable strategy. It will likely escalate into panic at some point. Taking a deep breath, getting the facts (from a reliable source) and then taking things from there is a much better one.

Once you have the facts, make sure you focus on controling what you can control instead of pondering about the things you can’t control. There is much more you can do about your own situation and Covid-19 than you might think. And your best advisor in this situation is your common sense. If something does not feel right, it probably is not.

Common sense tells me, that I will not be in danger if my husband and I are taking our Sam out for a walk. I am not hugging / kissing anyone on our way (with the exception of my husband and Sam. If he lets me – Sam, I mean). I am keeping my distance to others passing by us on the way and I am taking every effort to not touch my face until I was able to scrubb my hands.

My common sense is also telling me, that I am not needed in the office right now as I can work from home. I can best support those that HAVE to show up to work in the office, by social distancing and helping to flatten the infection curve. Out of the same reason, I am avoiding large groups and am doing my best to stay home wherever possible.

I am still living my life though. And I am very conscious that pulling out of social life entirely and 100% will have a huge impact on society and our economy. So I am still getting my Starbucks coffee in the morning, but I am not staying in the store or hanging out by the store for a longer period of time. The team of that store needs to continue to make money and should Starbucks decide, as currently discussed, to only offer drive-thru or deliver, I am going to use that too. Not because I am addicted to their coffe (even so I might be), but because not spending money at all anymore is not a great idea for our economy’s survival after we humans survived. Which we will!

I might not go to the store groceries shopping anymore next week, but I might still buy things online and ask for delivery. I do not have to decide this now. I can make an informed decision, after having thoroughly assessed the facts of this ever changing, fluid situation.

What’s really important is, my life does continue. I am not (knowling) in a high risk group. I am practicing social distancing, where possible. And I am keeping myself busy and occupied with “normal life” things to not go crazy over the information overload out there. Is our life going to be impacted? Yes, no doubt about it. And we will not be able to change or control that. We can however control how we choose to react to it.

Our favorite bread is not on the shelves anymore? Aside from the fact that stores are restocking and we will probably just have to wait an inconvenient couples of days, we can also search the internet for a recipe that sounds good, order or buy the ingredients and then go ahead keep ourselves busy baking.

You are home bound because there is no school? I get it, that can be tough with energetic kids. So why not take them out to play games outside by making sure you avoid groups and keep your distance to others? There is some middleground between hugging and kissing everyone you see or on the cheeks or shaking hands and locking yourself into your home entirely.

The advice to “stay home” does not have to be taken literally at all times – if you are in a remote area, got out and walk and spend time outside. Wash your hands when you come home and make sure your kids do to. Be creative. It’s not about flight or fight right now! It is more about being smart, vigilant and yes, creative.

Yes, there is a lot of Covid-19 cases right now. There is also a lot more untested and undetected cases and there is and will be even more people that went through it with minimal issues. I was very excited to see NBC’s Nightly News with Lester Holt share a story about “Facts over Fear”, where they highlighted the amount of cured patients. Where they also highlighted that currently not everyone that is infected is hospitalized. The majority is self-isolated at home, experiencing minor symptoms. It’s all a matter of perspective, people! Get the facts – all of them!

There is one last and important thing about panic, that I would like to share. It makes us VERY egoistic. If your brain goes to flight or flight, itis making very lonely and self focussed decisions, that do not take others and the impact on them into consideration (much). Here I would have hoped for us having evolved as humans coming into play, but the current situation in super markets seems to be proving me wrong…

Before you go out and empty the shelves of everything you deem necessary to “survive”, maybe try to take a deep breath and think about the potential impact you might be having with your actions.

Think about the single Mom that ran out of toilet paper and because you are buying 4 months worth of the same now has to drive around, spending money she does not have on fuel, to find produce or toilet paper for her little babies.

Think of the older lady that has problems staying hydrated in the increasing heat in Florida and has to go through physical and mental stress to find a store that still has water supply available for her. She, other than many of us, might not be physically able to come back when (not if!) stores have restocked. She might not drink enough water as a consequence and as someone in the high risk group due to her age, having been exposed to the virus, during her attempts to get water, might make things worse or even fatal. Yes, me being dramatic again, I know.

I truly believe that panic combined with egoism is the real killer in this crisis. Fortunately this one is visible so let’s detect it where it happens and call it out!

After all, would’nt it be super ironic if you contracted the virus while standing in the super long line at Cosco or Sam’s club etc. waiting for your turn to get in and finally buy 3 months worth of toilet paper? Cause you know, toilet paper really, really does NOT provide any protection against Covid-19, or any other virus for that matter. Neither does the common hand sanitizer, unless it is alcohol based. Here we go again – helpful facts! You are welcome.

Finally – while we can’t socialize with others as we used to right now, we still can best approach and defeat this together. Let me say it with Ellen DeGeneres words: “Be kind to one another!” In times like these, THIS indeed could be a life or death decision.