The Integrity Challenge

It’s about time for another, as Henning called them, “positive” blog posts. And by positive, he actually meant a post, that does not talk (at least not only) about Covid-19.

It’s rainy and super dark outside. The pooch is lying next to me and the mood is right, so here we go! Let’s talk about integrity.

But what is Integrity? One of my team members got a great explanation from his son, who had discussed the matter at Sunday school in church.

“Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is looking“

Anonymous

It’s the best and most simple way of describing the basics of integrity. But integrity as a value is far more complex and also not as simple, as this description would imply.

You can look at integrity in your job and integrity in your personal life. And while both are not always the same, you are probably not living your job life with integrity, but are a completely dishonest person at home.

Integrity in one’s personal life is really best described by the sentence I quoted. And I just so happened to experience an example today. I shopped with Instacart (read the background about why we are shopping with Instacart here, in my Social Distancing diary https://mykindofsuccess.net/category/social-distancing-diary/ ).

When you are shopping with them through the Publix delivery app, you are actually live online with your shopper. If products are not available, he can suggest replacements. But if you do not like those, you can just request a refund. And that happened a lot, today. The shopper however completely ignored the refunds the store had given me.

He delivered all his replacement proposals I did not pay for. I only saw it, after he had left. And of course in times of Covid-19, the store would not have taken these products back, they would have to destroy them. I was wondering, what to do. While the products are not, what we prefer to use, we will use them up as throwing out food is nothing I like doing. So I checked their app and of course there is functions for complaints but none of them allow for asking to be charged for products you accidently got.

You can send a free text message to report a problem. I asked them, if they had a way of charging me for the replacements, the shopper accidentally stole. Since I don’t think they can, I also let them know I would otherwise donate the amount to Feeding America. Just keeping the products, really did not feel right.

In this example, or when finding a wallet on the street etc., integrity is rather easily accomplished. If it’s one of your values, you will do it.

Integrity goes beyond these simple examples though. For me, as a people leader and employee, integrity means walking the walk, when you are talking the talk. But what does that really mean? And is it as easily done, as in the personal examples? No. No it is not. Unless you are completely carefree and do not need your job. For all others, it’s an obstacle track that you have to navigate carefully.

Sometimes, your company will have policies or processes, that you are not a fan of. That alone is not necessarily going against your value of integrity, it might just be an inconvenience or annoyance. And that is called life, ladies & gentlemen.

It’s getting a little bit more complicated, when these policies or processes leading to an outcome, that does not allow you to walk the walk, after you talked the talk. At least not all the way. Company rating systems are great examples where the integrity of someone can be challenged. Some of those rating systems rate the employees performance of the entire year. They connect the bonus payment directly to the score. Both not really a challenge. It gets tricky, when your company also mandates, how many 1 and 2 ratings (which are usually the top ratings) you are allowed to give.

There is usually good intentions behind the last point. The company wants to make sure, leaders do thoroughly and honestly assess their team’s performance and usually a team does not have only 1 and 2 performers. The challenge begins, when you are having a small and super high performing team. The difference between team members might be marginal or even not existent and you have to decide between two evils.

So what are you doing, keeping your integrity in mind? It’s a challenge. Usually companies do not want you to use the so called “curve” to explain a rating that an employee has gotten. So are you telling the colleague that got the worse rating, his performance was worse than the one of others in the team?

It’s a really tricky question, that everyone needs to decide for themselves. In my opinion, as leader it’s you job to develop your team and help them grow. It’s not your job, to make the message fit the rating, when you can’t make the rating fit the correct message. But again, that’s a fine line in all companies. People usually know the policies and the spiel. Honesty goes a long way.

And of course, do not talk the talk, when you already know you might not be able to walk the walk. Do not make promises, when you already know, you might not be able to keep them. If your company has such a rating system, do not promise a certain rating, but still provide honest feedback. Your team will know, why it is if message and outcome do not match 100%, especially if they know you well.

But what if you promised something, because you were completely convinced you would be able to keep your promise. And then you can’t. Tough! I just went through such a situation, and I do not have the golden way here. I will share what happened and what I am learning (still work in progress) from it. Maybe it will help you as well.

I will not go into the details of what actually happened, as I do not want to make anyone uncomfortable. But highlevel should do.

Something went wrong end of last year with one of my team members. I did not “make the mistake” but I absolutely owned the solution (click here for more from me on ownership https://mykindofsuccess.net/hero-heroine-or-victim-to-me-its-a-choice/ ). After I found out what went wrong, I was naive enough to think, this should be a fairly simple solution and I promised them, I would take care of it.

We found out about it end of January and now, end of April, I had to acknowledge, it could not be resolved right now. The parties that needed to make the right decisions, are not able or willing or both to do so. Could I push more? Absolutely! And my inner voice, that is driven by my integrity value, wants me to. So badly! However at this point and with the current situation, it might reflect poorly on them as people might think they are the pushing party. So I have to let it go, for now.

What’s with my integrity? Would I not have to walk the walk? Absolutely! However, this is not an integrity problem. I walked the walk as far, as I could. At some point the process requires for me to pass on the torch and things are out of my control. All I could do was, to be honest and upfront about what was happening. And continue to own the solution, as soon as things improve.

What did I learn from this? I made a huge mistake when I promised the resolution. THAT is, where I did not live up to my integrity standards. I was arrogant and talked a talk I should not have talked. I overestimated my “power” and maybe also the parties that took over the torch as well. But the mistake is mine. Because the disappointment is a lot bigger, after the solution I promised and someone relied on, did not happen at all.

Why did I do what I did and what are many leaders with integrity issues having in common? They choose the “easy way”. I am usually not doing this, but here I did and often times when we experience integrity issues with a boss or leader, it’s really them avoiding the uncomfortable but honest approach.

In my situation, the impacted person felt upset or at least bad about their situation. And they should. So I wanted them to feel better right away. And if I am a 100% honest, I felt bad for them and wanted to feel better too. So I made a promise I should not have made. The right way would have been, to go through the discomfort of the situation and then give the honest description of what would happen next.

Many bosses do not care enough, to go through the uncomfortable situation and so they make promises or provide inaccurate feedback in order to avoid this discomfort. However, it always comes out and then the impact is even more negative. That is definitely the case in my example.

Other bosses (not leaders) are having high expectations from their teams, but are not willing to go there themselves. For example a boss might ask his team to do overtime whenever it is required but would work 9-5 themselves. It happens. And it is a clear integrity issue. No matter, if it ever comes out or not or if his team actually cares or not.

There is also bosses and leaders, that try to deflect responsibility for decisions they made and blame “the process”. If I am making a certain decision, that I know people might not like, I either should not make the decision or own up to it. If it comes with complaints and disagreement, but it needs to be done? Stand your ground. But maybe try to deliver an explanation or additional context and acknowledge it was an uncomfortable decision. Again, honesty goes a long way! And then, offer your help. That will go even farther.

And how does justice come into the mix? Let me tell you something, it does not. Not necessarily anyways. Justice is a tricky thing. You can hold high integrity standards but the outcome of your actions or of the circumstances will not always be juste. It’s not juste, if one team member gets a lower rating than they deserve as their leader only had so many good scores to give. It’s not. The leader can still have kept his integrity up, by being honest about the process and by doing all in his or her power to walk the walk – as far as they can walk alone.

Life is undeniably not juste. Otherwise there would definitely not be anyone dying from cancer. Or does justice mean, it would only hit the “bad people” and who would determine that? Yes, that was a little bit sarcastic, I will admit.

Even in the court of law, justice is not always what has spoken. The exact opposite might be the case. There is a lot of factors that come together and what’s just in the eyes of one person, might be injustice in the eyes of another. There have been quite a lot of death sentences of innocent people. And it will continue to happen, there is no way to fully avoid that.

Let’s take our rating example. One person might be selected to get the only available great rating. The performances were very similar and the leader had to choose between two evils. Very subjective influences will now come into the play. The most just thing to do, might be to give both the worse rating but rate them equally. But is that the right thing to do? I will let you decide. I am sure none of the two colleagues will feel like they won or like justice was served.

As a leader, having integrity, does not always mean to do what is just. It just means, that you always try. And you are honest and transparent all the way through the process. It means, you will walk the walk, when you talk the talk. It does not always mean, you will be able to cross the finish line.

I missed the finish line in my example. But the race is paused, not over. You need to also wisely decide, when to fight which battle. Politics is a game you need to always be able to play in any and all companies out there. How you play, will determine your integrity.

And that is the challenge, with integrity.