My Top 5 Reasons Not To Be A Servant Leader

“To be or not to be, that is the question”. Ever wondered what Shakespeare’s take on things would be these days? No, that’s just me? Oh well. Firstly, I am wondering, if Shakespeare would be one of those influencers on platforms like LinkedIn that leave their audience with smart sentences? Sentences like “Leadership is not an expertise. Leadership is a constant education” (credit Simon Sinek) or “your not lost, you are just early in the process” (credit Gary Vaynerchuk). Both “influencers” are vivid supporters of the theory, one has to be a servant leader, to be a good leader. Secondly, would you think Shakespeare would agree and let Hamlet spread this, a million times repeated and shared, theory as well? “To be or not to be a servant leader?

On the surface it’s sounds nice enough. It even could be right. For some. I am as vividly supporting the theory that a one size fits all leadership approach does not exist. For me personally, there are a couple of reasons that speak against being a servant leader. Most importantly, I prefer being a caring leader. And of course caring and serving do not necessarily exclude each other. But in my definition caring not only includes caring for myself, it actually starts with caring for myself. And that would not be in alignment with the common definition of servant leadership.

So, what is servant leadership? The term “servant leadership” was first coined by Robert K Greenleaf in an essay published in 1970. You can learn more about him and what servant leadership is, here. Or you can check out this Forbes article comparing traditional leadership with servant leadership here. Because background information is always helpful and I did not invent this wheel. Not by a long shot.

Both agree that a servant leader’s focus is to serve first. To make sure that we meet all the needs of our people first and that what we are doing pays into the growth of our people in all areas of their being. Compared to traditional leadership it’s a shift away from the company focus to the employee focus.

But Nannette, that DOES sound much better, what’s wrong with being a servant leader?

Short answer: compared to traditional leadership, that focuses on the company and the business goals only, nothing.

My preferred approach also has the people in it’s focus. I completely agree that people should be the focus. I do not fully agree with the goal being to serve and to serve first. And what I mostly disagree with, is the interpretation of servant leadership that can be found on LinkedIn. Influencer make it sound like to serve is basically the only job of a leader. You have to make your team the center of everything you are doing. Putting yourself aside. It’s this all or nothing approach, that I just can’t get behind.

Yes, the people should be in the center of what a company is doing. I agree. But If I would coin my own term it would be “caring leadership”. I would replace servant by “caring” and to serve by “to support.”

So let’s finally dive into my personal top 5 reasons why I am not a servant leader.

1. To Take Care Of Others, We Must Take Care Of Ourselves First

How were we going to serve others and be actually of use, if we did not take care of ourselves first? Much like in an airplane where they ask us to put on our own oxygen mask first. Not to be selfish, but to make sure we are actually capable to help others afterwards. If, in the process of serving others we were to burn ourselves out, we would not be of service at all. We would become a liability instead.

Hence I am not a fan of the part where as a servant leader our goal is to serve the needs of our people first. All their needs even. I think we will be much more open minded and able to see our people for what they are and what they actually need, when we did consider and mostly meet our own needs, first. Think about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. If you are yet to achieve your safety needs, how would you be able to help someone with their self-actualization? You couldn’t. You could not even relate.

As a caring leader, we are naturally caring for our people and that care is an instrumental element of our leadership. We are able to care for them, because we took care of ourselves. When we are tired and as an outcome do rest, we will not only be a role model in the care for our people. Being rested will also allow us to have the mental capacity and space to understand them and their immediate, mid-term and long term needs. And support them in taking care of these.

2. All The Needs? Impossible!

No matter how good we are as a leader, we cannot serve ALL the needs of our people. In fact, attempting to do so could end up being dangerous and /or wrong. Some colleagues might have mental health support needs that are far beyond our skillset. You could of course argue serving all their needs in this case would mean we provide them the right support with the help of others. Sure. But, what if they do not see their need? What if they do see a need, but do not want to address it? Does “all needs” mean the ones they are asking to be served for? Or do we also serve those underlying and unspoken needs? To me, that is just not clear enough.

Someone in our team might need constant confirmation that they are great because they are having a low self-esteem. Do we serve to fulfill that specific need? I sure hope not. It won’t improve their self-esteem. It would make them depended on us and our attention and confirmation.

As a caring leader I prefer supporting my team in fulfilling their needs when appropriate. With the emphasis on support. Which includes an open and transparent discussion about needs, which ones they can and should take care of themselves and for which they would need my support but not me taking over entirely. It would also entail supporting them in understanding needs they should not be having, such as constant confirmation of being great, doing the right thing, being “enough” etc. and how to overcome those instead of trying to fulfill them.

3. Training, Support & Accountability vs. Serving

To me as a rather literal person, the word “serve” feels wrong. It’s the same old question of development and growth or micromanagement and “serving”. When we want to help the people in poor countries, should we constantly bring them food and the things they are lacking or should we teach and support them so they can ultimately be self-sufficient? Disclaimer – “serve” might not have been meant that literal by those supporting the servant leader approach. But I do feel we need to be very clear on this.

You can have your people in focus without serving them. To me showing, training, coaching and supporting in the (inevitable) event of a failure are the much better approach. When we care for our kids, we teach them to tie their laces at some point and stop doing it for them. Now I am sure our people at work can tie their laces by themselves. Or are just wearing slippers. But the point is the same. We want them to develop to the point that they outgrow us. Serving them and helping with all their needs and demand won’t get them there. It’s not going to prepare them for (work) life.

So taking the term “serve” literally it’s an absolute no for me. It’s holding my people back instead of getting them to the point they need to get to. Caring leadership does include support. It also includes having our people’s back and making sure the work environment is right for them. It also includes training them to do the same as well and how to do it. So eventually, thanks to their skills and your support, they can outgrow you and take over your job.

Sharing more about caring & accountability in this older blog post here.

4. Company Goals & Results Do Matter

Telling people they need to serve and serve first, take a leadership approach that focuses on their people and their growth, development and empowerment only, sounds really good. In fact, too good to be true. And unfortunately it is. It would be great if everyone in all companies would focus on their people and their development only and the rest will fall into place. You are empowering people and providing guidance and direction and they will automatically achieve the company’s goals and all results will be great.

But is that really how that works? Ultimately goals and results need to be achieved and they need to be right in the center of our focus, together with our people. As a leader, we need to bring the company’s goals and the people in alignment. And there will be many, many situations, when those two do not align at all. If only we lived in an ideal world, right?

Traditional leadership would now focus on the goals and the results. Trying to bring people along, but ultimately willing to sacrifice those, that aren’t following suit. Servant leadership, as it is made to be on Social Media, will focus on the people and on serving their needs believing empowered like that, they will automatically march ahead towards the goals, no matter if they are aligned with them or not. Black or white, which one is it? It’s many (no, not 50, that’s a different story) shades of gray. Many, indeed.

As a caring leader, I am trying hard to empower my people (much like servant leaders), support the needs I can support, provide psychological and other safety, train and develop. At the same time I am also trying to set a clear agenda, make goals transparent and collaborate whenever possible on the best path to get there. I have both people AND goals in the focus and center of what I am doing.

BUT. I am also not shying away from driving my team towards goal or task completion, even if we personally do not fully align with them. Or they are at times going against our top values. Because even in the best of all companies, this will happen. Maybe just a slight miss on our values or a temporary misalignment. But it will still make it hard for teams to overcome just with empowerment and guidance. The (inner) resistance and hence struggles will be real.

As a caring leader I need to realize, that I can’t remove all frictions or hurdles. As much as I can’t fulfill all needs all the time. But I still have to make sure my colleagues get great year end results, meet their goals and get to keep their career. I have to be transparent and clear, especially in situations where we are not happy with what we have to do as a team. Ideally there is time to find compromises, work around or a different path that more aligns with us, our values or how we like to do things. But that will not always be the case. Things still need to get done.

More often than I care to admit did I have to say “look, we do not like this and would have preferred for things to be different, but we must get this done. Afterwards we can influence and try to drive change.” I can only accomplish this, because I have earned the trust by caring and by holding my team accountable, too.

5. You Need To Be A Role Model To Model The Roles

We should ask ourselves, if we focus on the needs and empowerment of our people, on their growth and development and their careers first, as the posts about being a servant leader imply, how are we going to promote their great work? Who is going to listen to a people leader who neglected their own career and focused on “shining with their team’s results only?”. Who will give 2 cents for how great we think our team is performing, if our own performance is not considered great, too?

Same difference as taking care of ourselves first. We need to work on our own growth and development. Our reputation and “brand” within and outside the organization. So that it actually carries (a lot of) weight, when we promote our team’s successes. Other’s will care much more about marketing of work and results, if the person doing it is considered reliable and known to be successful. There is a reason that diet pills are not sold by just using a “before” picture.

By the way, don’t buy diet pills, they don’t work and the pictures are just that. Pictures.

Marketing our team’s successes is as important, as empowering them, providing guidance or a resourceful work environment. This needs to be front and center for us, so that our people see us do it and take a slice from our cake. And we really can only do that, if we focus on our own careers as well. Including our (work) needs and goals.

Don’t get me wrong, as a leader I prefer to highlight my team’s successes as I do consider my job to be making them successful. But the reality is, I need to have a few things to show for myself, to be taken seriously enough to do so successfully. I can’t just be known for being good at “team marketing”.

These are my top 5 reasons. The bottom line for me is, there is really no one size fits all approach. If asked whether I prefer traditional or servant leadership, I have to reply I prefer my version of caring leadership. In that approach, the leader has to have three things in the focus and center of anything and everything they are doing:

• Themselves
• Their People
• The Company / Goals / Results

And while we should always come first, just so we actually can take care of the rest, there is no specific order. They all require an overall balanced level of attention.

I also learned that you will need as many leadership styles as there are people on your team. And then some. Caring leadership has proven to keep me personally mist flexible when adopting by never losing focus on the three focus areas.

Well, in reality, if I am losing focus it’s usually the one on myself and self-care. Caring for myself is not something as natural as caring for others. Funny how that goes sometimes..

This post is based on how I perceive the usage of the buzzword “servant leadership” in Social Media. I am no expert in the actual servant leadership theory or what being a servant leader is supposed to mean and haven’t studied it.

Which has never prevented me from having my own opinion. Feel free to share yours and who knows, it might add value for all of us.

Take Care!

Nannette