Did You Know A Simple “Good Job” Just Doesn’t Do It?

The art of giving praise and compliments @ work

Have you ever received a “positive feedback” that left you clueless or disappointed instead of motivated? You have, but you don’t know exactly why? Maybe the person providing it was just not familiar with the art of giving praise and compliments at work.

Giving feedback, the right way, does not come naturally to many people, including many people leaders. Some consider it uncomfortable when it’s growth feedback and miss doing it entirely or are doing it poorly, if it’s praise. And others think they are giving feedback, but they are actually complaining. Check-out my thoughts on complaints vs. feedbacks in this LinkedIn-article here.

Giving growth feedback usually happens more down the “chain of command” than up. There is the saying that it’s getting more and more lonely the higher up you get. Well, I think if you remain open and actively solicit feedback on a regular basis while you move “through the ranks”, you might be able to avoid the lonely decision making higher up. People who have learned, that you really appreciate feedback, will feel much more comfortable to continue giving it to you. No matter your position or “rank”.

If you’d survey your colleagues, most of them would probably say, that they prefer giving positive feedback over growth feedback. And also that they are better at it as well.

I personally think both are equally important and both are equally showing how much you care for the recipient of the feedback. Growth feedback might be even saying “I care” a little more. Genuine care, to me, is the condition for any kind of feedback and your level of candor. I shared my thoughts about “why you should dare to care” here.

So why would I say that a simple “good job” just doesn’t do it? Because it really doesn’t. It’s what they call an empty phrase and, unless you are saying it to a dog that managed to catch the ball you threw, does not show too much care or attention to the details. And when we are talking compliments, praise and feedback in general, details do actually matter. A lot.

Many of us are performing much more poorly when giving positive feedback and praise, than we care to acknowledge.

Have you ever thanked someone and gotten a “I didn’t do much” or “what did I do?” or a similar reaction in return? Yes, of course it could be that you are simply dealing with a humble person. Or, and it is not that unlikely, they really did not know what you were thanking them for. Or worse, they actually really did nothing to deserve a thank you (or any other praise or compliment for that matter).

There is an almost automatic use of “thank you” and “great job” in some work places. Often without real meaning behind it. Kind of like the greeting “how are you” not being an actual question. Or the use of the word “sorry” not necessarily meaning someone is giving a heartfelt apology.

Well, let’s assume in your case someone actually did do a great job. And let’s assume they are usually not a complete mess at work either. In that case just thanking them or telling them “great work” or “good job” won’t be too exciting for them and will clearly not accomplish any of the things positive feedback should achieve.

Some will take it and move on, without getting too excited and certainly without being too motivated by your words, either. Kind words, yeah. But not much more. Others, and I am one of these, might (depending on the situation) perceive this as a leader fulfilling their “obligation” to give praise. Half-heartedly at best. And it might achieve the exact opposite and lead to demotivation.

You think I am exaggerating? Well. Words matter, the intention behind them matters and most importantly, you caring enough to share details of what has been done well, matters. You are usually very wordy, when it comes to growth feedback? But you tend to just give a short “thank you for the great work” or “well done” etc.? People will notice and they will start to feel they have a lot more things to improve, than they are doing well.

Feedback, especially positive feedback, is usually given (or should be anyways) when someone did something really well. The more detailed you are, when sharing what you felt/observed they did well, the more of the following you will achieve:

• The recipient feels seen for their good work as much as for their areas for improvement.
• The details you are sharing will help enforce the exact positive behavior you observed and are praising / thanking them for.
• You are making an effort to be detailed and the recipient will equal that to the “value” of their work and their great performance.
• Your praise will leave the recipient feeling good and because of that motivated to continue doing what they did well.

Going beyond the simple “good job” and the art of giving praise and compliments at work is actually not that difficult. It does however require for you to not just look at results and outcomes. To be able to share details with your praise, you need to observe the process leading to them as well. This approach will allow you to give praise and positive feedback for the work, not matter if results are met 100% or not.

When results are missed, people easily get demotivated despite them having done a great job and a lot of hard work, still. A simple “good job” in such a situation might even be perceived as you being “ironic” or sarcastic. Especially if your team members are beating themselves up for having failed a goal / KPI etc.

If, however, you are giving detailed praise and positive feedback on their approach, it will help reinforce the same as well as helping them move on from their own disappointment.

You can choose to say i.e. “Good job, next time we’ll have more luck with the results” or you can say “I really liked how you analyzed the drivers for our performance, provided such great details to the team working on them and followed up diligently. That was a great job! Keep up the hard work, results will follow in time.”

The first one is short and takes no time. But it’s also going to be perceived as a half-hearted attempt to acknowledge the disappointment. The second version clearly shows you made an effort to observe what they did and how they did it. Your feedback will be taken seriously and really help your team member or colleague to keep going.

It’s the End of 2020. I am sure many of us can’t wait for this year to be over. It’s usually the time of Christmas cards and thank you notes. Done wrong, I might add. The art of giving praise and compliments at work comes to mind for this occasion as well. When we first moved the US, I had Christmas card from one of my Leaders in the mail. I did not expect this but thought it was a nice idea. And then I opened it and thought “what?”. It was a picture of her family with a Christmas sentiment on the front. And literally nothing on the back. What a missed opportunity!

This seems to be common in the US. It still has me stunned as it feels so impersonal that it’s almost worse than not sending a card. My personal humble opinion, of course.

To me, if you are into sending Christmas cards, send a personal note. And when you do use this to send a thank you note, make it a thank you note that does not leave the reader stunned like me with a question mark in their head. Be specific. Of course if it is a more distanced Business relationship a “thank you for everything” or “thank you for the great work in 2020” might do. However, you can do better by listing some highlights you are thankful for.

I am making it a habit to send a Year End “thank you note” to my team. And as opposed to growth feedback that should always be given privately, I am copying the entire team on this note. Including my boss, so that he can “jump on the train” and share his thoughts as well.

In these thank you notes, I am trying to share my high level summary of all the great things the colleague has done throughout the year. And highlight what I am thankful for. And I am always trying to give it a little bit of humor and a lot of attention to details. It’s important to me, to do this for every member of the team. So they can feel seen for the work they have done and the colleague and team player they have been etc. .

I personally prefer receiving these kind of notes. Maybe less often, but with more detail than the occasional “good job” or “well done”. But of course there are exceptions. If you just sent a detailed note to your leadership team highlighting the great work that has been done and they reply with “great job” or “awesome work” etc., that is still a good thing.

However, even in these situations there are leaders that are taking the time to highlight their favorite part of your work. Or they will accompany their “thank you” note with details on the impact they think your work will have. And that right there is still just a little bit more memorable. It definitely does make a difference, in how the recipient perceives the value of the feedback. And their work.

Next time, when you feel like sending a “great job” or “well done” take a pause first. Think about the “why”, “what exactly” and the “how” and include that in your note and you will experience first hand the difference it will make. The art of giving praise and compliments at work.

Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays & thank you for reading my blog!

Nannette