Beat the Funk

Does that sound familiar? Have you ever been in a really bad mood that seemed to last forever? And by the time it was finally over, you did not even really remember the reason anymore? Or at least did not make an effort to find out?

I have been there and done that. Probably more times than I care to count. In fact, I have experienced it so many times, that I actually gave this state of mind a name – the Funk.

The reasons for getting into the funk are probably as diverse as the lives of my readers. For me it usually starts with some kind of frustration and my trigger is more often than not work related.

I learned, that for me it is usually a few (or several) things coming together, that ultimately put me in a funk . For example one single annoying work situation does not necessarily push me over the edge, unless it has been really bad.

However if that experience is not the first one in a short period of time, if I am in urgent need of a vacation or if whatever happened is a personal disappointment or forces me to act agains my values, which usually feels just purely wrong…that is the perfect recipe for a funky couple of days or even a week.

For all of you, that still have their idealism skill fully intact and are about to tell me, I should not let any of these things happen to me – save your breath. While I agree that some things should not be accepted, there are situations where things will happen and you can’t do much about it. Life and especially work life are just not always fair and expecting it to be, will really drive you into the funk, once realization sets in.

But why is that? Why do some events have the power to put us in the funk and others don’t? And what IS the funk?

I think, when there is an accumulation of frustrating or annoying events or we have to go against our values and principles, this taps our “dark side” on the shoulder. Negative emotions come up and want to take over from our happy go lucky selves and want steer or at least impact what we are doing next. Basically the bitch or witch in us wants to come out.

We want to reply back with a bitchy email to that “ignorant” note from our boss. Or we literally feel like hitting someone, because of what they’ve said or done. Yes, I have to admit, the idea of hitting someone hard and right in their face, has crossed my mind more than once in my life. I am convinced that, if we gave in to these impulses, we would probably not get into the funk. But we might lose our job or worst case end up in prison. Depending how hard of a punch we can throw.

While I am not guilty of having punched anyone, at least since I grew out of kindergarten age, I have definitely sent more than one email that should have never left my outbox. Ever.

And because our subconcious knows giving in to the impulses, at least the way described above, is not a good idea, it makes us suppress and ignore these impulses and often the negative emotions that have been triggering them. So instead of letting us live out our emotions on the person(s) causing them, it sends us into the funk. And often times it does not really hit our concious and we are not clear why this is happening at all.

Well, being able to tell what’s happening does not necessarily mean, that we can push through quickly or get ourselves out of the clouds right away. And to make things worse, now even the littlest “thing” gets a “funky” reaction from us. Which lets these little things grow bigger than they should and we find ourselves in the middle of a funk spiral.

Being in the funk can be dangerous. Maybe surprisingly as dangerous as the reactions we have been suppressing in the first place. Everyone that has a pressure cooker (aka as crockpot) knows, if you do not close the lid really well, it can end up in a drama and/or a kitchen renovation. I remember when I was little, my late grandma made kale, which in Germany is a hearty and most importantly cooked dish and not a salad. Well the pressure cooker had other plans and the kitchen looked like a kale bomb had been thrown. I thought it was funny…my grandma not so much.

Suppressed emotions are in a state of “pressure cooking”. Some of us are so good in suppressing them, the lid blows up a lot later than the actual emotion happened. Leaving those around them, that are hit by the emotional kale with a lot of questionmarks as to what just happened. Some do not explode, the lid just leaves some gaps and emotions are spilling out as described above, making little things a big drama.

So the funk is dangerous, as it has the potential to grow out of proportion and explode. Unfortunately we are being told to be “good” and that experiencing negative emotions let us appear weak. Women on top have to deal with the prejudice of being emotional anyways. Growing up we learn to ignore or numb these emotions.

So knowing all this about myself, am I able to completely avoid the funk or at leat get myself out of it more easily? Sometimes! I am definitely work in progress here. Let me share what I am doing or at least trying to do.

I am observing myself constantly and try to identify potential triggers early and then I allow myself to “feel the feelings”. Now I have not yet lost my job nor have I ever had to take a mugshot. Punching is not an option or solution. Never.

And instead of sending that bitchy email to release my negative emotions, I might be writing a bitchy reply (deleting the recipient first. Important!), sometimes even 2-3 different versions. Having written away my frustration helps a lot and most of the times I do not actually have to send the email at all. And if I have to reply, having written the bitchy version to myself makes sure the version I send is appropriate.

Another good way of letting go of the emotions is venting them away. I just always make sure, I am not venting to the actual target of my frustration. I call, chat, text or meet etc. with a person I trust and vent away. Sometimes saying what I would like to do, does the trick already.

At times stopping what I am doing entirely and going for a walk, taking a deep breathe and clearing my head works as well. When I am mindful and paying attention to myself and the situations I am experiencing, these are all tools I know will keep me from going into the funk. With the funk being a period of bad mood that lasts longer than just a coupld of hours or a day.

Whenever I am really tired though, or I am not mindful of myself because I am busy, stressed out from a lot of work and have let frustration add up, I still experience the funk. And knowing myself well, I am usually fully aware that I am in the funk. Being able to apologize is a helfpul skill here by the way. There is usually someone completely “innocent” that gets to experience some of the fall-out. You might even send someone else into the funk yourself…

When I realize I am in the funk, being creative is a great outlet for me. I am most creative, whenever I am in a funky mood. It is as if my brain has the urge to turn the negative emotions into something positive.

When I did the Gallup strengthsfinder test I talked about in my last post, I learned that my top 3 strength is “solution finding”. And as I described in that same post, my brain defaults to solution vs. problem thinking, always. There is not really solution to emotions, so I guess instead of solution finding, my brain defaults to the next best think – creation.

I am letting my emotions out by being creative and not only is the funk gone afterwards, I am also usually feeling pretty good and accomplished. Most importantly, I dealt with the emotion, without harming myself (or career) or anyone else. Just like right now. I have been in a not so great mood for the majority of the week after a frustrating and very uninspiring work week. The typical accumulation of things I could not change and that frustrate(d) me. I could see the funk coming, but was too tired to stop it from happening.

The moment I realized that was the case, I knew I would be writing another blog post very soon. My favorite form of creativity is writing. I am not handy at all so my creations will be texts, not paintings or sculptures. I knew I would write another blog post, I did not know though, that I would not only use the energy from my funk to be creative, but also turn the funk into my topic of choice. That’s definitely a win win in my books.

It is Sunday night and I am feeling much better, even though the emotions about the things that happened and that I still have to deal with, are still the same. But I lived through them. I felt them and then turned the negative energy into this post. And in return I am getting a whole lot of positive energy back that will help me deal with what has to be done.

What about you? Have you ever experienced the funk? Do you maybe even have your own name for that state of mind (heart and soul)? And most importantly – what are your best strategies to deal with the funk and pull yourself out of it? I would love to hear from you! Please comment with your story below!

And to make things a little more interesting, if you leave a comment or even share your own funk story by January 25th, you have the change of becoming the recipient of this month’s giveaways. The book “The Upside of Your Dark Side” and a surprise gift.

The recipient of the giveway will be selected randomly on January 26th. And will be announced here on the blog with instructions how the gift will get to you!

Thank you & good luck!